The lesson is going great. Students are engaged, working together on a high-cognition task. Conversations are on target, whiteboard markers are squeaking, math is in the air. Students are totally in the flow.
An inquisitive student approaches. You are ready to field their question (most likely with a question of your own, or a smile and a move on since they just want an answer and you are not an answer key, my friend).
“Mr. Zuercher?”
“Yes, my brilliant, hard-working, persevering student of mine?”
“There’s a spider on my desk”
“Not what I was expecting, but ok.”
Flow interrupted. Assorted students freak out. One of them bolts from the room. Math is no longer in the air. What a shame.
It’s a fact of life in teaching that situations will arise that you are not expecting, usually at the most inopportune time. I will gloss over the “Can I go to the bathroom?” question during the middle of a discussion trope. I’m thinking more along the lines of “It’s the last 10 minutes of school and right outside your classroom window a school groundskeeper is wrestling to the pavement a completely nude man high on some kind of substance while the nearby elementary school kids are being let out of school for the day and witnessing….everything”.
Whether it is day one of year one, or the second to last day of your teaching career, you will undoubtedly run into a situation where you don’t have what you need. It’s going to happen, but if you have the following items in your teaching toolbox, you might be prepared for them more often.
Bandages
Yes, the classroom is mandated to have a first aid kit. We have a nifty backpack right next to the door that has all sorts of items in case of an emergency. There’s even a glow stick for…reasons? In 18 years I think I have used the first aid kit maybe five times. However, I shell out bandages on the regular, at least once a week. Probably the most sought after item in my teacher desk is the big box of assorted bandages that I always buy at the beginning of the year. I don’t know what these kids are doing, but man do they need bandages. Most often it is the student who comes in from lunch or break with a skinned knee. There’s also the random hangnail or cut finger. I don’t need an explanation, just grab a bandage and don’t leave the trash on my floor! As an added bonus, get some extra antiseptic wipes from the nurse’s office. The first aid kit never has enough.
The Fly Swatter
I would love to report that I respect all life on the planet equally, and that every creature should be cherished. I cannot report that. It would be disingenuous of me, and that’s not what I’m here for. Sometimes that fly in your room just needs to die. Having a quality fly swatter at your disposal is critical. Bees, spiders, roaches and the like will all eventually find their way into your classroom, and they must go. My fly swatter has a happy face on it, because I value irony.
If a bird flies into your room, the fly swatter will not be effective. Just turn off all the lights and open the door. It usually works.
In case of a deer…run.
The Basic IKEA Tool Kit
When I first moved into my condo back in the mid 2000’s I was shopping for furniture at IKEA and I spotted this toolkit at the checkout aisle. I think it was $5.99. Best money I have ever spent. Things in your room are going to break. You will need to hang difficult items on your wall or from the ceiling. Desks and chairs need tightening. I have used every piece of this toolkit multiple times, and I am always glad I have it.
The hammer is also effective against deer.
The Door/Window Shade
My classroom door happens to be 90% window, which is not ideal in a lockdown situation. The ability to quickly cover your windows and doors is essential, unfortunately. Having a quick rolling or pull-down shade is a must for every classroom. Some teachers I know use a large piece of rolled up chart paper taped to the top of their door, which can be implemented quickly in case of emergency. A long time ago a student gifted me a life-size Corey Perry hanging fabric height chart. Mr. Perry hangs in my doorway, protecting us from dangerous situations, such as naked strangers on amphetamines.
Mr. Perry is somewhat effective against deer.
The Glade Plug-In
My students come to realize pretty quickly that I like to sing in my class. My Canadian National Anthem is pretty solid. I have a pretty decent “Let It Go” chorus as well. My all-time classic though is the Glade Plug-In commercial jingle. Comes in really handy when you are teaching evaluating algebraic expressions. Do you know the value of a variable? Plug it in, plug it in!
Aside from being a fun teaching tool, the Glade plug-in is also a real nose saver.
It’s late August. 92 degrees. P.E. is getting their first benchmark times for the mile run. Students are…pungent. The bell rings and they have 3 minutes to get to your class. You are going to be very thankful for that vanilla scent that permeates the air in your room. Doesn’t solve everything, but you’re gonna be glad you have it over nothing at all.
The Hygiene Box
Hit that Target bargain bin aisle every once in a while and try to stock up on travel-size deodorant, mouth wash, and feminine hygiene products. Organize them in a box and put them underneath wherever you have the bathroom pass. The standing rule in my class is that I trust my students to use the restroom when necessary. It’s nice to have certain items available to them when they go. No judgement, just take what you need and handle your business.
What are your favorite items that you have in your classroom for those unexpected situations? What have I forgotten? Leave a comment below.
EZMath Blog 
Eric,
You hit this topic spot on! Not sure about the deer but that naked man made for an interesting day. Looking forward to seeing you soon.
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