It began as a small ask from my principal way back in the early days of my teaching career. They needed another teacher to chaperone the first dance after school. Sure. That seems easy. Two hours of witnessing awkward teens be awkward. What could go wrong? (It was fine).
As a first year (temporary) teacher, I felt the need to say yes to every request from the administration. I barely knew what I was doing on a daily basis in the classroom, so anything I could do to further solidify myself as at least a reliable employee seemed absolutely necessary for my future employment. Even if I wasn’t asked back after that first year, they would hopefully be able to say that I was a strong employee with a good work ethic on those future reference check calls.
Daily lunch supervision, concert supervision each trimester, and the after school homework club were all things I said yes to. Granted, some of those things came with additional pay, which was nice. The problem was that I did all those things, then still stayed until 7-8pm each night trying to lesson plan for the next day. Every work day was at least twelve hours long, and I was only being paid for 7 of them. When you both arrive at and leave work when it is dark out every single day, it takes its toll.
Somehow I made it through that first year (mostly because of the substantial help from my mentor teacher Ann), then also made it to year three, earning tenure. I figured that once my employment status was more permanent I would be able to let some things go. I was wrong. By my fourth year I had said yes to most any adjunct duty that was needed at school. I was also offering help after school to any of my students (and some that weren’t), staying in my classroom for over an hour after the school day. When the kid who hasn’t turned in anything in over a month finally asks for help, you don’t say no.
After a while, small adjunct duties here and there became larger committees and leadership roles. This meant way more meetings, additional planning outside of my regular lessons, and oh so many emails. It felt good that people wanted me to be on certain committees, and I had the chance to advocate for changes I thought our school or district needed to make. When you work really hard for a decade, there is a bit of an ego boost knowing that people value your experience and input. It sure does take up a lot of your time, though.
Around the early 2010’s (if I remember correctly) there was a big shift in our district towards the Professional Learning Community (PLC). This led to much more collaboration with my department colleagues, which was awesome, but also way more meetings and time spent coming to common agreements. Each year our department would set a goal of making one big structural change based on the latest research showing what was best for kids. How could I say no to that? This continued for many years.
Then Covid-19 happened.
School shut down. I had two days to figure out how to turn my home into a classroom and change every lesson I’ve ever created. Two weeks of “Emergency Distance Learning” turned into 2.5 months. 2.5 months turned into another full school year of teaching online. This was not good for my physical and mental health. It did, however, help me gain perspective on what I valued.
Year 18 of my career, back in the classroom full of masked humans, I decided to try an experiment. Say no to everything. How would it feel to just teach my classes and not say yes to any of the extra stuff that can happen at school? I did only my mandatory supervision and adjunct duties. I did almost no additional help after school. I tried my hardest to be as focused as possible during my PLC meetings so that they would last as little time as possible and still be meaningful. I came to work every day at 7:00AM and left by 4:00PM.
It felt… fine. I wish I could say that I had some monumental epiphany, but I didn’t. I did find that the thing I value most is the daily interactions with my students. I have built positive relationships with so many amazing kids over the course of my career, and watching them grow into incredible adults brings me great joy.
Year 19 started a few weeks ago. Before the first day with kids we have a few days of meetings and time to prepare our classroom. After that first big staff meeting our principal sends out an email detailing all of the supervision and adjunct duties we can/have to sign up for, as well as additional stipend positions we can take on. When my email chime went off at 2:30pm I rushed to open it and sign up for the bare minimum yet again. It’s a google doc, so duties go fast. Different colored cursors belonging to various staff members are selecting options. Names get deleted by others on “accident”. It’s a frenetic, cut-throat scene.
I got my preferred 5 weeks of after school supervision duty in the quad. Phew! (Only the rookies take the front of school duty).
I got my coveted “end of year awards committee” adjunct duty. One of the few adjunct duties that is basically just handing out joy to students. That took care of my 6-8 required hours.
I was done. The bare minimum had been achieved.
Then I saw the optional lunch club supervision opportunities. Chaperone a lunch club once a week in your classroom. Pretty easy, could be really fun.
Then I saw it. The Dungeons & Dragons club.
Sign. Me. Up!
The first meeting of the Dungeons & Dragons (and rubik’s cubing and magic) club was yesterday. My room was full of passionate nerds nerding out to their nerdiest nerd desires. I loved every minute of it.
This is what I say “yes” to now.
One lunch per week spent helping kids meet friends who love what they love in a safe place.
How could I say no to that?
