The day after the last day of school is pretty great. I won’t say otherwise. Ten months of stress, endless decision making, and exhaustion seem to just melt away. Waking up on that Saturday morning knowing that I have zero work responsibilities brings a calm and serenity that is difficult to describe. What should I do today? Well, anything I want! It has become my tradition on that first Saturday to make and devour a huge stack of pancakes drowned in syrup, topped with two eggs. That’s the whole list for the day. It’s pretty much the first to-do list of the year that I actually complete. After that, the seasons of summer begin.
The Blah season begins on day two. This season lasts for about two weeks. I do pretty much nothing. Yes, chores happen, workouts are completed, meals are cooked, but these days are mostly uneventful and not worth remembering. I feel as though my brain needs these two weeks of nothing to recover from the ten months of EVERYTHING. I try to make as few decisions as possible, spend as little money as I can, and just kind of…exist. The “few decisions” aspect is really the key here. I don’t know how most professions work, as I have only ever been an educator, but the sheer amount of decisions I make in a day of teaching is… a lot. According to the few studies that have been done on this, it is estimated that teachers make about 1,500 decisions in a single teaching day. In recent years I have noticed feeling completely exhausted after the school day, crashing around 4pm. My brain is just so tired. The added stress of teaching in the Covid classroom has not improved the situation. I need the Blah season. It recharges me and gives me energy for the next season.
By the end of week two, the epiphany hits that I haven’t done anything with my summer vacation. So begins the Hopeful List season. Lists are made, goals are written down, life questions are asked. What are my fitness goals? Which books should I read? Which places should I go? Who are the people most important to me that I need to spend time with? It’s all very exciting! Hopeful List season is full of optimistic purpose. This will be the year that I accomplish everything! It is joyful. It is full of wonder.
It lasts about three weeks.
Hopeful List season morphs into Realistic List season. Plans are scaled back. Lists are edited down. Was I going to travel to Iceland? Well, maybe just go to Chicago instead. That epic surf trip to Fiji? Maybe just a weekend of surfing at Trestles. Was I going to work out seven days each week with a specific plan for each day? Hmmm, four days seems much more manageable. That six novel science fiction saga I was going to read? Book one sounds good. I still accomplish things, but by the end of the season I always feel like I could have done more.
These three seasons usually take up about a month and a half of summer. By late July there is almost always an event that triggers the next season; The Back To School Shopping Ad. The main culprit is almost always Target. At some point in late July, like a lightning bolt from out of nowhere, Target hits me with an advertisement for backpacks and glue sticks. I’m never ready for it, and it always punches me in the soul. Everything was going fine! I was getting things done. Goals were being (somewhat) accomplished. Now I know that my days of carefree living are coming to an end. Melancholy season has begun.
Melancholy season does not exist because I do not enjoy my profession. I absolutely love watching my students grow and learn. It’s just that I know how much work it takes to make that happen, and the thought of that work during a time in which I’m currently doing very little is extremely overwhelming.
Melancholy season can last anywhere from 3 days to 2 weeks. Sometimes I call this “Netflix Season”, as the power of the Target soul punch is so strong that I am unable to do much more than consume streaming content. This year it was Stranger Things, Ozark, and Picard. One summer it was the entire first season of Critical Role. No matter what content I am slovenly consuming, at some point the final season begins to emerge.
Purpose season is maybe my favorite one of the whole cycle. It starts to tickle my brain in late July or early August. No matter the duration or severity of Melancholy season, at some point I start to feel the pull of Purpose season. The idea that I am meant to do something, and my life requires a purpose. Lazily watching TV is nice, but nothing is really accomplished. There is no intellectual payoff, no challenge, no achievement. I am pulled back into the world of education. I start thinking about new lesson ideas and creating plans. I furiously search Math Twitter seeking out new ways to do things that other math teachers are excited about. I scour my Google Drive, weeding out lessons I know I need to delete or revise. I have a purpose again.
Every school year I have doubts about whether this profession is really what I want to do. The last few years especially. Every summer I wonder if Purpose season will emerge. Will I still have the passion to do this work? So far, it has never failed to arrive. As of writing this post I have started to feel it tug at the back of my mind (the Target ad hit me a few days ago). It actually came a little early this year.
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